Wednesday, September 1, 2010

What is so Special About Marriage?

Marriage is such an amazing thing.
In the Proclamation it states:
"We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children."

What do we need marriage for. Well, there are many things are need marriage for. To start with, just the companionship I have with my husband is worth more than I can explain. He is there for me when I am having a bad day, or week! He helps me know that things will work out and that I can get through whatever is going on. He reminds me of the eternal focus I need to have. That this life is only a blink, and then all will be wonderful.
We also keep each other going. For example, we walk together in the mornings while the older kids are getting ready for school. Then after they leave, we read scriptures together. This has led to so many great discussions. Mainly me asking questions and he giving answers. But it is so good to have someone to do this with. To have conversations about the meaning of things in an eternal perspective. I definitely didn't have this in my last marriage. In fact it was usually me defending things that I really didn't fully understand anyway, but knew they were true.
We also set goals and discuss problems and how to solve them together.
As a single mom, I really felt like I needed to have a man there to back me up. But also to listen to me and give his opinion. A male perspective is so enlightening. Sometimes I think that maybe if I keep listening to him, then I can think like him.
When I am talking to the kids about something we need to change, and they start talking back, I don't know what to say. I'm not good with confrontation. I don't know what to say. One day when I had one of these conversations, My brother in law was over, and tony asked what I said. Then he told me what he would have said. It was such a great comment. Not harsh. Not mean. Just something to get them thinking. So I said, "I wish that you could just be inside my mind all the time so I will know what to say in these situations." And that is how I feel. I wish I could know what he would do in times like these. Then I would be better able to handle things.
Needless to say, my BIN was amazed that I felt that way. He said that you know it's a great marriage when your spouse makes you a better person.

Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity."

It is definitely a divine role we have as parents. It is so rewarding, as well as trying. I know that when it is all you, it can be harder than is should be. As a single mom, you feel that you aren't doing a good job. mainly because there are SO MANY things left undone. And when you are the only one doing them (especially if you have young children) then you are overwhelmed. Which makes you feel bad, so you do less. It is a vicious cycle.
But if you have a help meet (see Gen 2:18), then it is okay. You don't HAVE to do it ALL. You have someone there to do what you can't.
I am very spoiled!! I get so frazzled by the end of the day. So it seems like half the time when my sweetheart comes home, the house is in chaos. Well, he will walk in, give me a kiss. Say "hi" to the kids, then start helping find some sanity. I love him. It used to make me feel like a failure. But after a few times of him staying home and not being able to accomplish anything, I saw it was just how life with small children is.
We are also there for each other. It seems that when we have had enough of WHATEVER. The disobedience, the messes, the fighting, then the other is there to step in. Then you can get a break and be ready to face the next challenge. It is so nice, and I find I can control my temper knowing that the home doesn't just rely on me. My back-up will be here soon.
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Chocolate on my Cranium said...

Wonderful post! It is so true that partnership in marriage helps us draw closer to our spouse.

Jocelyn Christensen said...

"I'm radio-ing in for BACK-UP!"

:) What a great post, what great insight you share! Thank you! And what a cute photo of the both of you!

Wendy said...

I like that you are team and have time to walk together and read together.

Patty Ann said...

Great post, and so true. I lived as a single mom for a long time and I can honestly say that having a good marriage is so wonderful! I love the fact that I have someone else to lean on and worry with me. I love the fact that I can take a break once in awhile and someone else will pick up the slack. I love the fact that I am loved and cherished. I have learned to appreciate all the little things that come in a good, solid marriage.

Del said...

Thanks for sharing! Marriage is a beautiful thing when both are equal partners in the marriage. A team effort for sure.

Lin Floyd said...

thanks for checking out my blog as part of the family celebration. I have written many articles about life as a single mom after a divorce. I'm remarried too and life does go on. Sounds like you have a great husband and nine kids! Wow.


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