Easy Easter neighbor/visiting teaching gift

This is something that my mom did for us every Easter. We would fill it with jelly beans, m&ms, or whatever.
Go to the feed store and purchase some chick feeders. Get a quart size mason (canning) jar. Fill with the candy of your choice (usually about 2 bags). Screw the feeder to the top. Add a bow (or not). Then turn it upside down so the candy falls into the feeder. (It looks almost empty at the point.) Then enjoy.
(One nice thing is that the candy can only be eaten one piece at a time. A great thing for me.) Pin It

Family Class: Money

So the other topic last week was "Money". Kinda fitting with anger management. I am currently in a situation where we are both on the same page concerning money, and how to manage it. What works for us is in Purple.

Here is what was discussed at the class:
First off, there is a decision to be made, do you choose to
1- Keep the money separate?
What money should be kept separate?
How much will each person contribute to the household ($ amount or % of income)?
2- Pool our money? We pool our money.
What money, if any, is to be kept personal? We have a budget for personal money. When we first got married $15 per person was for our own use each month. That has gone up over the years.
What is the limit for spending without asking the other? Again $15 is what we started out with.
What money is to be shared? All money is shared.
How much discussion is appropriate (and who has the final say) when purchases are made? We do discuss each purchase and we both agree on what the decision is, or the purchase is not made.

Whether money is separate or combined, there are some questions that need to be addressed:
-How will financial emergencies and unexpected expenses be handled? We have a savings account that we use for emergencies and such. If it is more than we have, (ex. hospital stays) then we will put it on the credit card.
-What spending categories are most important? Well, food of course, and then utilities and other necessities.
-Will credit be used? What amount of debt are you comfortable with? When we first got married, there was a lot of debt, and over the past 8 years we have managed to get rid of it. And we like it that way, but understand that things happen. A house is okay to go into debt for. As well as a vehicle, within reason.
-Who will keep track of your money? What method will you use? I keep track of the money, but DH will help when he can. He also has a few bills he pays on line. We have most of them taken out of the checking account automatically (I Love This!!). We use Microsoft Money as the program to help keep things straight.
-Will monthly or yearly budgets be created? We use a monthly budget and take out yearly items a little each month. By whom? We both sit down and create it. In fact, that is what we did last night. How closely will they be followed? We try to follow it pretty well, but we also understand that there are things that come up that we don't expect. And with 7 kids, that happens pretty often.
-Will family members be expected to help out financially? We don't expect family to help out, but we have had to LET them help. This was hard for us to do. Will you be expected to help out other family members? We aren't expected to help others (unless you count that Heavenly Father expects us to help others) but we do. We love that we are ABLE to help others.
-How will you make these decisions? Well, prayer.
-How will children and stepchildren's expenses be handled? It all goes in the family pot. They are OUR children, and the money is theirs as much as ours. Though we, the parents, get the final say as to what the money will be spent on.
-What will you do if another parent is not meeting their child support obligation? This has been hard for us to deal with. I'm not very assertive and he (DH) doesn't want the money. But we have to be realistic. Kids cost money. Once we decided that him (ex) paying his (ex's) share was his (ex's) way of renting the kids for the summer, then it became easy to expect it would be taken care of. We have a pretty open plan with this. If there is unpaid medical bills or the like, then the other parent will have to do the traveling (pay for plane tickets or whatever) until the balance is taken care of.

I know from experience that this is a thing that we all have to deal with. And communication is the best way. Even if it is a sore subject, it will help. I hate money. It still freaks me out. Even though I know that we will be able to eat and pay the electric bill, I still have occasional sleepless nights worrying.

So, what are some ways that you handle money? Pin It

Family Class: Anger Management

I am going to be writing a bit more about what our family is made up of. For starters, this is my second marriage. Three of the kids are from my first marriage, and the other four are from this marriage.

We entered the teenage years 4 years ago, and though we both love teenagers, we are being hit with things we just aren't sure how to handle. So we decided that we would find a class to take so we are a class at the Child and Family Support Center that focuses on Step-families. It is a class funded through the university by the government.
So far we have mainly heard the same things we heard in the Marriage and Family course we took Sundays during Sunday School.

The main thing I would stress is to communicate with your children. And not just about how was your day. Get feelings into it. "I am upset when you aren't where you said you would be." "I feel sad when your share of the chores don't get done." Then listen to what they are saying, and repeat it back to make sure you are understanding them. "I just want to hang out with my friends." "You just want to hang out with your friends?" "Yes." "I am the only one who does anything around here." "You are the only one who does any chores around the house?" "Yes."

Then there was another thing we discussed that I disagreed with. You'll have to let me know your opinion. We discusses anger management. There was one family where the father was having a hard time with the kids yelling and throwing tantrums with out any punishment attached. The point was made that you should let them throw tantrums. That it is appropriate for children to throw fits. Then one of the women said that you can't expect the children to act any better than you yourself would act. That is when I spoke up.

Now, in our 8 years of marriage I have heard Tony raise his voice only maybe 5 times. He may get angry, but he doesn't express it in that way. He will get the kids attention in other ways. If you are being dangerous, if you are being disrespectful, if you are hurting another person, he will get your attention in another way. Usually by getting in their personal space. By looking them in the eye. By picking them up. He will talk to them about what they have done wrong and what the punishment is for this action.

He has this saying. "Be happy 'cuz Christ lives." Does it really matter? Is this going to ruin someones salvation? Pick your battles. How important is it? Kids make messes, break things, get all the toys out. Teach them what is okay to do, then help them clean up their messes. If they are in one of those moods, put them in their room, the back yard, or buckle them in their high chairs so that you can gain control of the messes.

For example, Katia will hit her sister. Daddy will pick her up, tell her that hitting is not acceptable, and that she will have to sit on the stool for 3 minutes, then say "sorry" for hurting her sister, followed by a hug from Katia to her sister, and from Daddy to Katia.

Now, I didn't always express my anger in the way I should have. But I have learned from DH how to control myself. And I expect the kids will do the same. We do not feel tantrums are okay. If you are throwing a fit, then you need to go to your room until you calm down.

Some tips they did give us for calming down are:
Go for a walk.
Ride your bike.
Count to 10 (or 20, or 30, or...).
Dance.
Exercise.
Talk about it with a person you trust who is a good listener.
Take a bath or shower.
Do something that helps you calm down. Watch the sun set, gaze at the moon, sit by a lake.
Say "I am angry because..."
Write a letter or in your journal.
Sing.
Draw, paint, or sculpt.
Listen to relaxing music. (Don't listen to "angry" sounding music, or watch movies. These usually will not help to soothe.)

DS age 11 made a bottle with oil and colored water. You shake it and watch the colors separate while you settle down. A great idea.

So, tell me your opinion. Should you just let your children throw fits? Should there be a punishment attached? How do you teach them to control their tempers? How do you control your temper? Pin It

A Week of Easter

Today our Primary lesson was the Easter lesson/Resurrection. One of the questions asked what do you like best about Easter. The kids mentioned egg hunts, bunnies, but one mentioned the Resurrection. I of course like the candy and watching the kids hunt for their baskets that the Easter Bunny hides, but I also love the newness I feel. The time to look inside myself and see where I need to improve.
I am so excited for Easter this year. Spring is here. The girls are old enough to have fun. We get to hear a prophet. But I have been wanting to find a great way to have the spirit of the holiday. So after doing some searching, I think that we will be doing a Week of Easter. Here are a couple of sites that have some great ideas you might like:
Easter all Week at Chocolate on my Cranium and We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ


Katia went to the ballet yesterday and has been dancing around non stop. So even in this picture you can see her dancing.


Emma (pink) and Delta (purple) were so excited to go to church that they let me do their hair and get them dressed with such enthusiasm, I was so shocked.

Yes, today was a great day. It has gotten me looking at what I can (and need to) do to make sure I am being the best I can, and find ways to improve myself. Pin It

Happy Birthday to Us

Happy Birthday to us,
Happy Birthday to us,
Happy Birthday Mom, Delta, and Emma,
Happy Birthday to us.



So yesterday was our birthday. We had a bit of a different day than I had planned. Emma was sick, so I ended up holding her and Delta for the first part of the day. But I did get to watch a movie during this. Julie and Julia. Such a good movie. Think I'll watch it again today while I fold laundry and clean. Multitasking!!
My mom came for a visit. So good to see her. She helped while I got the cake going.
Then I got to go sit in the doctor's office for an hour. Then run around town to get the supplies and meds so we could survive the weekend. So my birthday dinner was changed from Bacon Wrapped Chicken, to Pizza. WooHoo!! Emma and I ran by to pick it up on our way home.
But Sweet Sister-in-Law says I get a do over. This morning I am blogging, checking out facebook, and have already gotten a shower. Only 2 of the kids are up, and they just now got up. I get to spend the day with DH, and the plan is to get the house clean and then just relax. Oh, and the sun is shining!! A better day is sure to follow. Pin It