Finding Joy in Motherhood

A while back we had a RS Conference with another stake with the theme being Joy. It was so great. We started with a talk in the chapel, then broke off to go to different classes. On that I took was Finding Joy Raising Teens. The other I took was Finding Joy in Marriage. The one I didn't take was Finding Joy in Motherhood.
Here is a quote by President Thomas S. Monson from spring 2008:
"To find real happiness, we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves. No one has learned the meaning of living until he has surrendered his ego to the service of his fellow man."
I have always wanted to be a mom. While I was in high school, I remember wanting to be a mom and have 6 kids. When I was in elementary school, I thought I would be a teacher, because they get to be off when their kids are off. (my mom had to work while we were kids, so I thought it would be the same for me) I loved to babysit, and had a number of babysitting jobs while in school. The kids were so cute and fun. But they weren't mine. I got to go home when the parents got home.
Now move forward 18 years.
I am still so grateful to be a mom. When I hear of women who can't have children, it makes me so sad for them. I know they will get to raise children in the here-after, but I get to right now.
I know that it can be hard. With soBut many children, the house isn't clean very often. Well, it gets cleaned, scrubbed, vacuumed, mopped, dusted. But there are always things that are not where they belong. The toys get left out. Homework isn't put up. Food fixings get left out.
Then you have to sacrifice your time for them. Well, I guess you don't have to. But if you don't, there won't be as much happiness.
So most of my projects get to go on the back burner. Kinda frustrates me. But that's how it is.
They also cost a lot. they need food, clothing, a place to live. Then there are the fun things. Toys, books, activities.
You also have to help them with things. When they are infants, you do everything for them. As they get older, you have to help them dress, get food, read to them, pick up after them, get things down for them, hold them, talk to them, teach them, help with homework, have play dates, drive them places, pick them up from places, get them in bed, wake them up, wait up for them....I could go on, but won't. You know, you've been there (or are there).
So, to sum up, kids take a lot of work. My sweet BIL asks why anyone would want to be a parent. Our new response is from a friend: Because we don't want to be the servants to those in the mansions.
But it really is more than that. Think of the joy you felt when you first found out you were expecting. Then when you first held that baby. Then you watch them grow. They learn new things everyday. They smile at you. They say the best things. They are so Chirst like at time. They will say something that makes you want to be a better person.
On those bad days, I just have to remember what amazing things they do. How they make me feel when I see them (even if it's while they are sleeping). How exciting it is when they do something new.
For example: Katia is a sunbeam this year. She was so excited! The first day of the new year, we were at a baby blessing 2 hours away and weren't able to take her to her new class. This broke her heart. This was going to be such a fun thing. Of course after 2 months, she still wants to sit by us during sharing time, instead of with her own class. She does go to class okay, and has a great time~
Jayden has been reading chapter books. He has been so excited about this. He was trying to learn to read in his head 2 months ago. While he would be "reading", all I saw was his finger moving across the page. Why can he read the page faster than me? Well, he didn't realize that you have to "think" the words on the page. He thought you just looked at the letters as your finger went by them. So now, he has it figured out. But it was so funny for him to say "Done" when he wasn't. And then wonder why he couldn't tell me what the chapter was about.
Ari has been trying to keep his room clean. But he couldn't figure out why he couldn't find anything. Well, he would just put everything on the shelves and call it good. A couple of weeks ago he decided to organize these shelves. I wondered what would happen. He was so surprised that most of the stuff, first of all, didn't go on the shelf, and second of all, was trash. Since then, he has kept his room clean, the shelves organized, and the trash seems to need emptying each week. He also has been doing a great job at getting his dirty clothes in the hamper.
BTW, he use to be the most perfectionist of all the kids. But now he blends in with the rest. Must be the "tween" thing.Now,
Julia was such a moody thing. She complained about everything. Nothing ever was right and every day was a bad one. Now when I talk to her, she is so happy and excited about things. (This may be because she is a cheerleader, but I'll take what I can get.)
Elyse is just a crafty thing. She loves to make things. It was so fun when she first started doing things on her own. She would put the craziest things together. And then I would wear them. Now I love to wear her things. She makes amazing jewelry. Her hair bows are so cute and fun. She sewed her own Halloween costume in 2008. She makes blankets, and gives them to friends. She even made most of the birthday cakes last year (all but Tony's). She makes the best homemade macaroni and cheese.
Now, I don't know that I always LOVE every moment of motherhood. This past week was a dozy. It is so hard to have sick kids. All I did was hold someone all week. The house was a total mess. I was even ecstatic when I got to sweep the kitchen. But when I finally was able to get it into my head that this was how it was going to be for a while, I was able to find joy in this challenge. First of all, I won't get to hold them for much longer. Katia especially. I was able to "relax" more than usual. I read a book, watched a few movies. Watched many children's shows. Surfed the web. Found a lot of crafts I want to do, but don't have time for. (I'll get to them in a few years) I got to read to the kids a bunch. They didn't always like the books I chose, but hey, they were stuck with me.
I also love to do things with the kids. Thursday, since Delta and Emma were feeling a bit better, we decided to make a purple picture. I gave them a crayon, paper, and we started talking about what was purple. Then we found a few things in the kitchen that were purple. It was fun. We also love to blow bubbles. I love it because I just have to sit there and blow while they run around and pop. So good.
I love teaching them things. The other day Jayden was asking a question about something that just wasn't making sense. After talking for a while, I figured out what he was really asking. He wanted to know about the planets and the creation and why some people don't believe that God was the one in charge of it. So we were able to talk about how we "think" that it was created, what the scriptures say, and why some people don't believe in God. It was a great thing for me, because I am just a believer, and don't always have to know the why.
I find joy watching the kids play. this morning Jayden (6) and Katia (3) were playing the wii while picking up the front room. It was so great to watch them. Jayden would help Katia with the game, and he would then go and pick up a few toys while he waited for his turn. He would get happy for her and say"Great job" or "Way to go" It was so good to hear that. They were treating each other with so much kindness. Taking turns. Picking up. What could get any better than that.
We have to find the joy in what we are doing. In being a mom. In the messes. They fade so quickly. (though at times I wonder) In the hard times. They too will pass. In the loss of sleep. (though that may never go away)
I can't believe how blessed we are. 7 children. Man!! Pin It

Where have all the socks gone?!?

As some of you know, we pin our socks together before they go in the wash. This is a trick I learned from my sweet MIL. She did this with her family's socks, and her boys were able to keep their socks from getting lost in the wash. Now, I'm sure that you who have had to wash baby socks will know, that those little things seem to get lost somewhere between their feet, and their drawer. I was convinced that the washer ate them.This is when I started pinning. Before that it hadn't been to bad. I asked a repairman friend of mine, where he thought they went. He said that the washer did indeed eat them. The socks can get sucked out during the spin cycle. The pin can aid in them not getting sucked out. And they don't get lost from each other. This makes the folding job much shorter.
Now, I haven't been able to convince the older kids to pin their socks. But they sure get to spend a lot of time fishing through the miss-matched-sock basket. Maybe they love this time to sit and dig through the socks and try to find the pairs. Some kind of challenge for their boring day.
How do I store the pins? I've done a few different things over the years. I've kept them in a pin cushion, or a small tupperware. What I'm doing now is keeping them in a paperclip container. The magnet at the top has slowed down the spilling process (don't ask me why it is so fun to dump them out). This one goes in our room.



I also have kept the little foam thing that the scrapbook brads come in and put some in that. I keep one in the laundry room for any socks that come through missing a pin (the little kids' and the parents, anyway). I also have one by the phone for pins to go in that have been left out by the kids.


In the kids' room I keep them in a jewelry drawer. They have a cute little box with 5 drawers. One is labeled "pins", and they go in that. (This isn't very child proof. The little girls climb on the dresser and get into the jewelry and they end up dumped everywhere. Oh well.)
My husband hardly ever needs a place to put his pin. He takes the one out of the clean socks and instantly puts it in the dirty ones. It is a rare occurrence when his socks aren't pinned. I think it means that he isn't getting enough sleep or has too many things on his mind. (Like any of that would ever happen.) Pin It

10 More Things I'm Grateful For

Today I've found a few more things I am grateful for.
1-I'm thankful for the sun which is shining every once in a while.
2-I'm thankful that it isn't my week to drive carpool.
3-I'm grateful there isn't a lot of laundry today.
4-I'm grateful that my husband comes home for lunch almost everyday (except today as he is doing a training meeting).
5-I'm glad the bus stop is right outside my house so I don't have to worry or go get DS 6.
6-I'm grateful that the girls napped for a bit so I could sweep the floor.
7-I'm thankful for DI where I can get books to add to our collection and not have to keep reading the same ones over and over.
8-I'm glad that it wasn't my turn for preschool this week, and that DD 3 went with out any tears.
9-I'm glad that we have a temple so close, and am hoping that I can go tonight with the RS sisters.(Hopefully the girls will get feeling better so I will feel that I can leave them.)
10-I'm grateful that I could take a shower again this morning, and that the water was hot, and to DH for holding the crying girls so I could do so. Pin It

10 things I'm grateful for today:

I have many things I'm grateful for. Doctors just 3 minutes away who fit me in whenever I call. Doctor who will call in meds for the other sick one so I don't have to go back in 4 hours later. DH who runs errands for me who is stuck on the couch holding 2 sick girls. A remote so I can just sit and change the channels for the girls. A laptop to keep me connected to the world outside. (yesterday was very isolating) Girls that can talk and tell me what they need (water, blankie, movie, story, hold me, bread) A helping big sister. (thanks Katia) DH who will stay home to help me get DS out the door. Big kids who will get the clothes out of the dryer, into the dryer, into the washer. Easy dinner recipe. (see this recipe: http://connect2utah.com/content/recipes/story/?cid=77791) Pin It

FHE on Gratitude

I copied this lesson from Cocoa.
http://chocolateonmycranium.blogspot.com/2008/11/attitude-of-gratitude-fhe.html
Here is how we modified it to fit in with our sick day:
With the GAK picture 221, we told the story of the Ten Lepers.
Then we read some scriptures to find out what things we are suppose to be thankful for.
Jacob 4:3
Ether 6:8-9
Mosiah 24:20-22
We also watched this video called Good to be Alive:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3HnUfqCBfc
The activity for the week that we are going to do is we are going to make a tree and put leaves on with something we are grateful for written on it. At the end of the week we'll review what we are thankful for.
I also shared with them my gratitude journal. I write 10 things each day that I am grateful for. It started out simple, and difficult, but it is now easy for me to think of 10 things each day I'm grateful for.
I am also going to pay attention and thank the kids for things they do. Hoping that it will set the example I am hoping will be copied. We'll see.... Pin It